Posts Tagged ‘photography’

Hello friends and family and neighbours and passers-by

My new and personal domain is now up and running – my blog has been moved there and I will be adding so much more to the experience

Please join me there for future updates and a selection of photography, health and lifestyle information and FOOD PORN!



Got a letter from Lulu Publishing to tell me that my book, The Photographer’s Choice, is still published and available on (and eBay too apparently)
Pretty cool! Didn’t have to do a thing – was selected a few years ago and voila…

Now I need to get my butt in gear and make a new and updated Volume 2, and maybe some personalised ones for people.
Can still make calendars too. Just haven’t had the time – but will have it soon!!!

I *heart*…

One: The babe and I have decided that we absolutely positively MUST have 2 or 3 of these:

And B:

This is probably one of my all time favourite photos of my amazing man:

Don’t know why, but it just is.

gross gross gross…
what is it with dogs and "cleaning up' after the cats?

must be one of the most REVOLTING smells ever.

makes me quite ill.

so that damn dog is kicked out of my room and she can grumble and snorf and growl and whimper and be a pain in the butt, BUT FROM THE PASSAGE WHERE I CAN'T SMELL HER BREATH!


Been looking at gifts for the boy, for his 24th, at the end of June.
I want to get him something unique, original, special… something that shows him how much I love him, and makes him think of me every time he sees it…

I also want to get another tattoo – had some ideas and sent an email to my tattoo artist friend, see what he says about it… if he has any ideas as well…

"Ani LeDoddi VeDoddi Li"

A few updates:
Yes, I got that job in the HellDesk.
Full time. 8am to 4:30pm.
Which means getting up at 0530, leaving home at 0615 and getting to work by 0700, or I fight my way through traffic for an hour and a half.
I only fall asleep, if I'm lucky, around 0230.
So I am one TIRED little geek girl.

I have too many house sitting gigs lined up.
I am tired just thinking about it. Start next week with the first one.
No pets. Will be quiet. No internet either. will be boring.
But it's during the week anyway – so I basically come home, eat, shower, sleep, wake up early.. no time for anything else really.
Haven't done much photography recently – too exhausted on the weekends – but still getting orders…
My photobook got listed on Amazon… check it out!

I'm kinda stoked, actually – a Lulu pilot program that included me!
I'll see what comes of it, and I definitely need to make a new photobook with updated photos and a new theme too…

I trimmed my fringe – it was annoying me – I think I did a pretty good job.
I am going to dye my hair "ruby red" a bit later… see how that turns out – since the blonde thing ain't happened…
Just a change.. it's a dark ruby red… so more reddy brown, but not auburn…
I'll see what my hair decides it will turn out as though…

Went out to the Marine Bar last night – first time since.. wow.. November last year!
They've revamped it – it looks awesome!
All warm colours and nice lighting and a very cool poker table and also a new pool table (Bridgeport)… I even managed to win a few games. The other table I don't I ever won once… but I blamed it on the skewness and the bumps in the felt!
Met Bud, and Jeff and Chris – no, not Marines. Guys working there on the new security fencing etc at the Consulate. Cool dudes. Chris was born and raised on Oahu, in Hawaii – he has such a cool accent 🙂 He joined the US Army at age 18, and was also stationed at Schofield, like the boy. But obviously, WAY back – he said '79 to '82 or something! He was very cool. I didn't get to talk to Jeff much, but he has a really fun laugh and a lovely accent too.
Bud was cool too – married a saffy girl a while back, and has a young daughter here.

Met one of the new Marines – John Oh – he was born in Korea, but went to the US when he was 7. Joined the Marines!
He's tiny, but a sweety from what I could gather. Didn't talk to him much.
Didn't meet Joseph, the other Marine, but saw him wander off to Post in his camos. Made me miss my man SO much.
And hearing all the accents.

And I still haven't met Jeff, and he's been there the longest out of the n00bs.

Jason leaves end of the month I think.. or in July.. he hasn't got orders, just knows he's going to New Delhi! Can you imagine?! I think he'll do well though – he has a strange patience with developing nation people, like us. I wish him luck. (although he carries that with him at all times) Will miss him though! Half Italian, half Irish – makes for a crazy concoction!

Miss the boy something fierce.
and with the new Plan he's made… I guess i will just have to go on missing him for a while longer.
yes, hoping still to go to the States in December.
after that, it's back here.
guess i'll just make my own plans and stuff.
i want to move out.
i love my mom, love my animals, but i so desperately need my space.
and since i won't be going anywhere for a few years, i might as well do it when i get back.
Not this year though – will be saving for the trip.
Not sure if i have to buy the ticket or not.
Details are, as always, vague.
i'm adapting though.
I'm a tough cookie.
a Saffy through and through.

We move on.

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which is apparently not something Americans understand…
perhaps if i say crossing fingers?

well either way, that's what i am doing…

holding thumbs that my camera sells, soon…
holding thumbs that AP gets back to me, soon…
holding thumbs that clients pay me, soon…
it's just a couple, but it's a few hundred bucks, which is always a good thing, yeah?

happily i got to talk to the boy this evening – while watching Over The Hedge, the Hammy moment ('it never eeeeeeeeeeends…. *zooooooooooooooom*… it never ends that way tooooooooooo….") so i was smiling already.. and then i saw him online 🙂

he misses me… YAY! glad to hear that, because i miss him too…
some days more than others – depending on how busy i am.. if my mind gets time to dwell on it or not…
he's safe where he is.. well as relatively safe as he can be, anyway
probably safer than i am! hah!
it sounds like he has it pretty good there, though – which is super cool.
his own room, internet access, some responsibility to keep him busy, cool toys too
i can't wait for photos!

i've been working out too much – the muscles around my belly are getting a little _too_ large for my liking… it's muscle, but because i'm already "well-covered'.. it tends to look like fat, under tshirts, etc, because it bulges out!
so i'm going to take it a little easy on the crunches and heel taps for a while… just concentrate on the skipping and the running (hah! that sounds so funny!) and also going to swim when i start house sitting for susan, in their lovely big warm pool.. can't wait, actually…
last time i stayed there over the summer, i swam every evening and i got pretty tanned and toned – was very cool. and you don't even FEEL it (at first anyway!) which is even better.

braved the crazy, dodgy areas of cape town today, to go renew my drivers license – took far less time than i thought it would, thankfully… altogether, i was gone for about an hour and a half, including driving time. which isn't bad at all.

had another dream about cutting my hair the other night (when i eventually fell asleep… really been struggling recently) and i'm wondering what it means…
i'm not talking pretty hairstyled kinda cut… i'm talking hacked off with a pair of scissors, all crazy. and the first time i dreamt it, i also then shaved my head after that… but not the second time i dreamt it… strangely enough.

anyone have any ideas on what it means?
i guess i should google.
google will know.
google is king.
or queen.
depending on your outlook on life.

need to get to the mall tomorrow, to buy something important.
really REALLY hope my camera sells soon.

hold thumbs people, please.

night night.

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that's the best word i can find to describe how i feel right now…

i don't think it's a bad thing… i think it's the way i am learning to cope with stress…
i think being calm and clear is a good way to be…
i feel bad though – everyone keeps asking me "aren't you excited?" and "aren't you nervous?" … and i'm sure, somewhere deep down i am… i know i SHOULD be… but at the same time, i don't think i'm ready for that yet… so my mind is a placid ocean right now… my heart is still… it feels kinda good…
i know the flipside of this is coming… i can feel it… but until it does, i'm numb…. and that's fine with me…
i don't want it to seem like i'm not looking forward to going… because that would be so far off the mark it would be funny… i'm just calm (for a change)… and open to things…
in the last week or so i've made so many new friends, and done so much… and haven't packed anything!
i only got my suitcase out of the garage on friday… still pondering what i'm taking.. what i need… if i'll have space (i have so much stuff for the boy… *grin*… i couldn't help myself… ) and i should check the weather again… 
it's a really hot day here today (i think because another storm front is coming…) so i'm in tank top and baggy surf pants… 
going on a "Hash" run later… invited by my friends at the consulate… it sounds interesting… only reason i'm going is because apparently there's not much RUNNING done – and i'm going with Megs, so we will walk together and keep each other company… and watch the other people run by… 
i'm DEFINITELY taking my camera!
that reminds me.. i need to change the battery for a charged one…
oh! and my Speedlight is broken 😦 it stopped working at the baby shower i was working at yesterday…
i thought it was just the batteries… but unfortunately i've changed them 3 times (for BRAND NEW ones) and it's still faulty (won't switch on for more than .3 of a second)… 
so i will have to send it to Orms when i get back (thankfully i don't think i will need it in germany – but i will definitely need it when i get back! USMC Ball, etc)

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Tuesday morning dawned… cold and clear… i hadn't slept a wink.
i downed half a litre of rescue remedy and went to get more stuff copied and some more statements…

then it was off to cape town… eventually found parking underground…
then up 19 floors to the German Consulate…

my heart was pounding so hard that my body was shaking in time…

but i downed some more rescue remedy… and sat quietly, waiting my turn, doing some A.T to calm my breathing and slow my heartbeat … it actually worked…

i got a LOVELY lady, who also informed me that if my grandfather was german, i should apply for a german passport next time 🙂
was so sweet of her… made me comfortable and calm straight away…
she took all my papers, asked what i did – i told her, and told her i specialised in equestrian photography…
i got a LITTLE worried at that point, because she rolled her chair back to talk to the lady at the booth next to her…
rapid fire german… but smiles… and the other lady came around to "see me" and she asked me all sorts of questions (do i ride? where? what shows did i shoot? etc etc) and i showed them some of my photographs, and she recognised Dawn Newman – that was so cool! such a small world, our horsey world…
they wanted my website, and the lady who rode said she was DEFINITELY going to check it out, because she rode in Tokai and she was into her dressage etc etc 🙂
and zip zap… "now you pay me money" and then i had a receipt and was told to come collect it on Thursday! (tomorrow)
I'm so happy. so excited. but it hasn't really sunk in yet… i don't think it will until i get on the plane. or maybe even when i get to germany… i really don't know.

i informed my mom. wrote her an email (cos she was at work) – but i've had no response.
and last night she was very cold and didn't speak to me much. but i don't know if that's because i didn't do the dishwasher thing, or because of the email, or because she had a rough day…
so i emailed again this morning, to see ask if she'd gotten my email before…. and still nothing.
i think that's also part of why i'm not feeling the excitement yet… i was really hoping she'd be happy for me.
the way things had come together for me in the end – despite her negativity.

oh well.

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so here i am
i was happy
doing what i loved
living my little dream

but thanks to … various things not under my control…
my dreams are being flushed down the toilet.

going to have to whore myself out as an IT bunny again.
just to be able to pay my bills. of course it doesn't help me this month. only 2 clients have paid me.
out of 11 orders i've done.
can't pay any bills. NONE.
my cellphone bill barely scraped through.

i'm not going into anything new, with this debt hanging over my head.
i won't do that to the boy.
i will NOT be that girl. i refuse.

so, i'm sorry my Preciouss… you have to go. Bertha stays (obviously)… but my sweet Preciousss … if someone would just buy her of course.
yes. i get sentimental, even about inanimate objects.

selling my car (At some point) is going to hurt. real bad.
Broomhilda has been with me through thick and thin. really really thin.
she's run on fumes and bald tyres with no brakes and 3 cylinders.
and she still gives me her all.
no windscreen wipers (and yes, it's winter… don't even ask how i got home today… )

I know something good is coming (besides my beautiful TJ i mean… he is the best thing that has ever happened to me) and i know i just need to be patient…
but i'm not going to sit idle in that time….
idle hands …etc etc…
and an idle mind is even worse.

so if i have to don my Bunny Girl ears and shake my little fluffy tail a bit, to make ends meet… then so i shall.

it's time to take care of _me_.

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making plans making plans…

still don't think i will able to make enough money to get that ticket to Hawaii in June…
i'm trying really hard… but i don't think it's going to happen…

don't think he cares, actually.

we've been kinda… miscommunicating recently.
i don't know.

but i'm Thinking Like A Boy, as was suggested.
Getting On With My Life, as i was told to.
Not Worrying About Him, as demanded.
My lesson was learnt.
Haven't told him I miss him.
Haven't told him I love him.
Not waiting online for him.
Not running after him.
Acting like I don't care.
The way he does.

but it doesn't seem to work – because now he's mad with me for being 5 minutes too late getting online.
first i'm told that i mustn't "worry about him", and that his issues/bad days are "none of my business"
so i back off.
and then i get called at 6:30am, told that he will be online "in about an hour, hour and a half"and that he's had a really "crappy godawful day"
so i go back to sleep for a little bit (not that i sleep much these days – brain too noisy) and get on at 8am, but have to help my aging dog outside (her back was a little sore, so she needed help standing up and getting outside – she's ok now) and when i come back… i get a message "thanks for being online" and he's gone offline.
how snarky.
how mean.
i was 5 minutes late.

nothing i can do about it, and i'm not apologising.

he confuses me.

but he says _I_ am strange?

a friend, who happens to be a recruiter for an international agency, has taken my cv into his careful care and is looking for international jobs for me… US specific, but also Canada, Cayman Islands…. and… Hawaii…
Not holding my breath (although he said my CV is pretty impressive – but i want photographic work, not IT related…)
but he says that their turnaround time is pretty damn quick and what's my "pack up and go timescale" ?

3 to 6 months he says is average.
I'm petrified. and i haven't told my mum yet either.

so now i wait.
should i tell the boy or not?
do i bother?
it's not a decision i made just for him…. i might not even end up near him!
I've been wanting to go overseas (to Canada more specifically) for a long time now.
i feel suffocated and boxed in here. and everything is so expensive.
i mean i LOVE what i do… but i want to expand my horizons… see what ELSE i can do with my photography…
i'm going to be famous. cocky as that sounds, i just know i am going to be.
this is what i am meant to do.
it sits right with me.

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i got on the scale the other morning, in all my riding gear (jods, boots, chaps, jacket) and i weighed less than i did, while standing naked on the scale, about a month ago…

i've lost another kg.
while this is SUPER, and i'm well pleased…
it's also a little… scary…
i've changed nothing, done nothing new – in fact i've been far more idle in the last month or so (house sitting needy dogs that meant i couldn't go anywhere, or ride or anything) and eaten far too much (boredom) than before…

perhaps i really have just kicked up my metabolism a notch?
i'll keep an eye on it.

i am now at my goal weight.
anything lost after this is just bonus points. 🙂

no word from the boy, all weekend. not a whisper.
but i don't care.
i wrote the email – just asking what his plans are, and if they include me – and now i'm leaving him alone.
the next move is all up to him.

i've done STACKS today – worked my ass off, and have some good results (already uploading the NRA eventing photos from Saturday.. so i've just got to start on Sunday's shots now, and there are less of them than Saturday!)

I'm feeling … a little numb.
but ok.

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