Posts Tagged ‘missing’

since the boy left, we've been sending texts to each other every day… keeping in touch, as best we can..
he's still sitting in kuwait, in the dust and heat, waiting for his transport back to the sandpit…
he's trying to enjoy the relative "peace and quiet" of the base he's at before he has to go back to the bs and craziness of the FOB.

this time is incredibly bittersweet for me
i adore getting his messages… every time my phone beeps my heart jumps in excitement and i scramble to read the note from my man… because… he makes me laugh, makes me smile, makes me cry, makes me sigh…

it's so good to know that he feels EXACTLY the way i do
i miss him so much that my heart aches and i'm like a junkie going through withdrawal … he IS my drug…
i miss his skin
his smell
his lips
his arms around me
his cute feet
his warm hands
his dazzling smile (he can get away with anything if he flashes that smile at me)
his wonderful laugh (it makes me laugh when he does – every time!)
i miss making him breakfast
and lunch
and dinner
and holding his hand while we walk around the mall
driving in my car – his hand on my leg, giving me a squeeze every now and then…
seeing him looking at me, out the corner of my eye…
i miss the jokes and the play fights and the wrestling and tickling and laughing
i miss his laugh SO MUCH
i miss his voice… so delicious and sexy – reaches through my ear right down to my toes…
i miss hearing him say my name, calling me sweet things… telling me how much he loves me…

just normal, every day things
i will never take it for granted
we've had so little time together – but each time we ARE together, it's like we were never apart – we just click in place.
we fit.

so his messages make my heart SOAR.. but they also make me hurt… because i'm half a person without him… i feel empty and restless and lost…

but i know he feels the same – which makes it so much better, so much easier to get through the day.

i love him more than ANYTHING.
sometimes i can't believe that he loves me. that i am such a lucky woman.

ok.
mush over.
you can look again!
 

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gross gross gross…
what is it with dogs and "cleaning up' after the cats?

*gag*
must be one of the most REVOLTING smells ever.

makes me quite ill.

so that damn dog is kicked out of my room and she can grumble and snorf and growl and whimper and be a pain in the butt, BUT FROM THE PASSAGE WHERE I CAN'T SMELL HER BREATH!

ANYHOO…

Been looking at gifts for the boy, for his 24th, at the end of June.
I want to get him something unique, original, special… something that shows him how much I love him, and makes him think of me every time he sees it…

I also want to get another tattoo – had some ideas and sent an email to my tattoo artist friend, see what he says about it… if he has any ideas as well…

"Ani LeDoddi VeDoddi Li"

A few updates:
Yes, I got that job in the HellDesk.
Full time. 8am to 4:30pm.
Which means getting up at 0530, leaving home at 0615 and getting to work by 0700, or I fight my way through traffic for an hour and a half.
Joy.
I only fall asleep, if I'm lucky, around 0230.
So I am one TIRED little geek girl.

I have too many house sitting gigs lined up.
I am tired just thinking about it. Start next week with the first one.
No pets. Will be quiet. No internet either. will be boring.
But it's during the week anyway – so I basically come home, eat, shower, sleep, wake up early.. no time for anything else really.
Haven't done much photography recently – too exhausted on the weekends – but still getting orders…
OH!
My photobook got listed on Amazon… check it out!
http://www.amazon.com/Photographers-Choice-Andrea-Lindenberg/dp/B002ACW0E0/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244295916&sr=8-5

I'm kinda stoked, actually – a Lulu pilot program that included me!
I'll see what comes of it, and I definitely need to make a new photobook with updated photos and a new theme too…

I trimmed my fringe – it was annoying me – I think I did a pretty good job.
I am going to dye my hair "ruby red" a bit later… see how that turns out – since the blonde thing ain't happened…
Just a change.. it's a dark ruby red… so more reddy brown, but not auburn…
I'll see what my hair decides it will turn out as though…

Went out to the Marine Bar last night – first time since.. wow.. November last year!
They've revamped it – it looks awesome!
All warm colours and nice lighting and a very cool poker table and also a new pool table (Bridgeport)… I even managed to win a few games. The other table I don't I ever won once… but I blamed it on the skewness and the bumps in the felt!
Met Bud, and Jeff and Chris – no, not Marines. Guys working there on the new security fencing etc at the Consulate. Cool dudes. Chris was born and raised on Oahu, in Hawaii – he has such a cool accent 🙂 He joined the US Army at age 18, and was also stationed at Schofield, like the boy. But obviously, WAY back – he said '79 to '82 or something! He was very cool. I didn't get to talk to Jeff much, but he has a really fun laugh and a lovely accent too.
Bud was cool too – married a saffy girl a while back, and has a young daughter here.

Met one of the new Marines – John Oh – he was born in Korea, but went to the US when he was 7. Joined the Marines!
He's tiny, but a sweety from what I could gather. Didn't talk to him much.
Didn't meet Joseph, the other Marine, but saw him wander off to Post in his camos. Made me miss my man SO much.
And hearing all the accents.

And I still haven't met Jeff, and he's been there the longest out of the n00bs.

Jason leaves end of the month I think.. or in July.. he hasn't got orders, just knows he's going to New Delhi! Can you imagine?! I think he'll do well though – he has a strange patience with developing nation people, like us. I wish him luck. (although he carries that with him at all times) Will miss him though! Half Italian, half Irish – makes for a crazy concoction!

Miss the boy something fierce.
and with the new Plan he's made… I guess i will just have to go on missing him for a while longer.
yes, hoping still to go to the States in December.
after that, it's back here.
guess i'll just make my own plans and stuff.
i want to move out.
i love my mom, love my animals, but i so desperately need my space.
and since i won't be going anywhere for a few years, i might as well do it when i get back.
Not this year though – will be saving for the trip.
Not sure if i have to buy the ticket or not.
Details are, as always, vague.
i'm adapting though.
I'm a tough cookie.
a Saffy through and through.

We move on.
 

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ok.
it's my Monday night. 20h00. minus 6 is 14h00. so almost the end of his Monday.
In theory, Tuesday is the last day of the selection process….
he said 2 weeks.

But you never know with the military.

I'm hoping no news is good news. Means he's still there, still in the thick of it. i know they "weed out" the non-prospects as they go along… so…

i really really REALLY hope he gets in.
it would be amazing for him.

Got my new camera on Thursday (Thanks to G) but didn't even put it together until Saturday.
It should have been exciting – but all i can think about is TJ.

I'm not as bad as i was at first…
but i still ache.
my heart is so sore.

but as TK said – the worse the bad things, the better the good things to come.
i just have to have faith, and hold on.

i just wonder if he's thought of me at all?
i mean, not while he's focused, not while he's trying to get noticed. i want him to focus.
but.. in any idle time… or when he sleeps… do i cross his mind at all?
i know it's not summer camp, it's the frikkin Special Forces – i don't expect me to be in thought bubbles that follow him around…
i just wonder…
i'm hoping a thought of me is something that keeps him going, keeps him motivated, keeps him trying harder.

i'm actually petrified of how i feel about him.
how deep this goes.

just keep breathing, girl.
just keep breathing.

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