Posts Tagged ‘love’

lost another beloved friend today
my beautiful Brutus
been looking after him since he was a pup

my cousin sent me a message saying he is going to heaven today

his seizures were still happening (although they never happened with me – glad i never had to see that) and he was losing control of his legs.

she said they made the decision to let him go now, instead of waiting until he was a drooling idiot.
he was far too noble for that.
too regal
too loved


After collecting my passport from HA on Tuesday, I then made copies of everything, got them certified (at the police station – pretty sure those guys are starting to recognise me…) and took them to Postnet to send off via DHL.
They said 2 to 3 working days – so most likely there on Wednesday the next week.
Super!
They said sometimes the Germans like to open document packages and “query” them… which takes about 2 weeks extra.
I blanched. The lady said “but that’s VERY seldom!” when she saw my face.

So, that was done.

And, thankfully, it arrived on Wednesday afternoon.
I *heart* DHL. I tracked it ALL the way to courier and delivery. I even know which one of my husband’s fellows signed for it.
Thank you Diaz!

The man could do nothing, as it is (yet another) 4 day weekend for them, and he was driving all day Thursday.
So he will begin all the processes to enroll me, on Tuesday this week coming.

It was a weight off my mind when I got the mail to say the documents had arrived.
It’s all a waiting game, but at last this one thing is done. One more step closer to my man. One more check list item with a tick next to it.
Ball is in his court now, and hopefully all the help he was offered by work will actually come through.
This part CAN take months – I hope it doesn’t, if his bosses step up and help, it shouldn’t.
Then I start the German process.
Not sure I can do that without my originals. They do require copies of everything, but they need my original passport etc.
I guess I can fill in the forms so long.

And get my international drivers license? Will that work with a certified copy of my new passport?
They only need verification – they don’t put the license in my passport or anything.
I’ll research that a bit more.

Will also do what my friend K did (the Princess) for the green card interviews.
She got hers recently – nice and smooth.
She said she read everything about it and had everything ready.
I want to be ready too.
I want everything to go smoothly and easily.
I’m tired of hitches and issues.
And “you can’t do this if you don’t do this”

It’s mentally draining. Emotionally tiring.

SO anyway… everything has begun… or.. _will_ begin on Tuesday next week!
I’m excited.
But also wary – I don’t want to get my hopes up.

But the Universe is behind me, I know this.
Just have to be positive. And believe that it will all be ok.

At least I can hear out my right ear again – thanks to Megs for the Waxsol suggestion.
Waxsol! Waxoff!

But I think it’s now infected my throat. Cos it is SORE.

Anyhoo.
Life goes on

and I love my husband so much.

Can’t wait to be with him.

today is one month of “married life”
of course, as in all things, we are different.
we’ve only actually had 2 weeks “together” of “married life”
the last 2 weeks have been from a distance, as usual.

but i’m storing it all up inside… keeping it burning…

the distance is ticking away…

soon, my love…
soon.

Ok so at some point in October, my amazing man decided that we needed to stop this long distance hogwash, and Be Together.

He asked me to marry him – it was a mutual decision after much discussion – not so much an “OH WOW!” proposal as an “I think it would be awesome, what do you think?” kind of thing. We both agreed – it would be sheer brilliance.

I said it would NOT be Official until he got there in December and got down on one knee and did the whole asking thing. I wanted that. It was actually my only condition in this whole thing. He agreed.

So unofficially we were engaged.

It was surreal.

And so I started planning things and getting quotes and looking for a dress.

This was going to be the most totally awesome laid back relaxed Saffy wedding we could possibly want/afford/organise in such a short time.

Luckily I had the help of my amazing friends, and my steady and full-of-ideas mother.  I wasn’t panicked – EVER. I wasn’t stressed – EVER. No seriously. The number of shop assistants and people who said “OMG! THIS Saturday?! Why are you so freakishly calm!?” led me to believe that I am some sort of wedding mutant. But I’m totally cool with that. Oh and the comments about my bizarrely skinny and long fingers added to that.

Only time I felt any anxiety of any sort, was the few steps I took down the stairs (I didn’t fall! Much to my future husbands pride) (to have my arm grabbed by my socially shy brother who went WAY out of his comfort zone, to give me away – his offer) and down the (very short) aisle (with the soothing sounds of Bob Marley’s 3 Little Birds as my wedding anthem) towards my future husband. He looked calm. But that was a facade, as his voice gave a warble a few times when we spoke our vows. It was adorable. And it made me feel so much better. He always makes me feel better. About so many things. But I digress….

This moment of panic was brief – my heart pounded its way up my throat for a few moments and then slowed to a normal speed after that. My hands had also stopped shaking by the time I had to put the ring on his finger. Luckily the ceremony was short (and very sweet) and before we knew it we were signing the register. Slightly dazed looking.

It was done. I was Mrs V. Then the party started!

I’m still pretty much wafting on a cloud – of happiness and sheer disbelief. I’m a married woman.

I have a husband.

I’ve introduced him now to a few people and paused… strangely.. “And this is my … <breath>  husband.”

It’s both weird and wonderful.

I love it.

I love him. He loves me.

Now we can move FORWARD together. Looking in the same direction – but never losing what makes us each special – our individuality.

Now also comes the extraordinarily fun bit – lots of paperwork and red tape and changing names and changing details. (That was sarcasm, in case you missed it)

And the waiting.

Lots of waiting.

There have been a few.

Updates too.

Firstly, we got another dog. Well my mum adopted her, and she will live with my mum, with my doggy Macky.

Her name is Mardi (as in Mardi Gras, as that is where she was found) and she is 9 years old. She was at TEARS for 2 years I believe, but had a home for 7 years before that. Unfortunately her owners emigrated, and made the decision not to take her with them.

She’s been with my mum for just over 2 weeks now, and she is more settled. The cats are fine – just Max is a little wary still, but no fights or chasing or anything like that. He just avoids her mostly and occasionally they will touch noses.

She is excellent on walks! On the lead or off, she is very responsive and behaved. She loves to meet new dogs, as long as they are smaller than her. I think that’s a kennel thing though. There’s no danger from a dog half your size.

She and Macky get along very well, mostly – they’ve had the occasional spat about personal space (Macky doesn’t know what that means, and tends to just walk over her if she’s in the way of being loved by a human) usually in my mums bedroom! But it’s just a “finding out who is top dog” thing, and it’s getting better.Luckily, Macky is such a sweety, he just goes with the flow. But he is definitely top dog and wants Mardi to know this.

Even more surprising was the bond that has developed between Mardi and my grumpy brother. Moment they met, it was love.

If he’s home – that’s where she will be, in his room. She would love to sleep in there at night, but he closes his door (he has limits!) so she sleeps outside his door.

She gets all excited when he comes home and he gets quite a goofy smile when talking about her to me or other people. Even if he is mock complaining about her cold nose in the small of his back when she wants attention while he’s at his computer. It’s wonderful to see. A crack in his armour. A little light shining in.

Other changes… *Thinks*

Oh! I moved out, finally. Sharing a gorgeous house with two other ladies. Although the one is leaving at the end of the month – she moves in with her boyfriend. All the best to her – sounds like it was about time 🙂

The owner of the place, says that perhaps some time next year, she might move in with her boyfriend, but she isn’t sure yet, so I mustn’t fret about losing my place.

It’s a really comfortable and relaxed house. We aren’t digsmates or besties – we just share the house and it’s our home. We are house mates, that’s it. So there’s no envy or “why didn’t you invite me?” moments, or jealousy or hitting on boyfriends. No silliness.

I feel really chilled when I get home. It’s finally feeling like “home” – instead of just another house sitting gig.

My mums home is now just Moms. It’s still home, and always will be, because I am always welcome there, but I feel more independent here. More myself. I can be quiet if I want to be. I can go for a run, or stay out, or stay in, wash my clothes when I want, eat what I want, make what I want, do what I want, watch what I want…. and all that good stuff. I have privacy. Not saying my mum was an invader – but I never quite felt “separated” from that knock on the door moment. I love my mum, and I think this is better for us too – I go home on weekends, to walk Macky and Mardi and to get things from the garage, and to have a little catch up chat with mum and say hi to my brother. It’s good.

Other updates:

June came and went – it was awesome, but as always, too short.

We traveled up the East Coast – all the way up to Addo Elephant Reserve. Always wanted to visit there, since I was little girl. So it was a dream come true for me, and an incredible experience for both of us. The road trip was pretty awesome too.

We stopped off in Knysna, and Jeffrey’s Bay (the Surf Mecca of South Africa, Africa even) and stayed at the very famous Super Tubes. Right on the beach. Was too cold to surf though (this is June! Southern Hemisphere!) so we will have to make a plan to go back in summer, some time.

Addo was incredible. So peaceful. Relaxed. We saw quite a variety of game – no Cheetah or Leopards though – and we drove from top to bottom of the park. We saw (many many many!) of the supposedly elusive Dung Beetle, and took loads of photos.

Too soon, my man was gone again – but I’ve had my fix and I can wait for quite a while to see him again. I’m content.

Work sucks. There are no better words.

Not the people I work directly with – I have made some wonderful friends there over the last year or so. Especially the last few months – Fahiem and Megan are such brilliant people, with big hearts and keen intellect. We’ve been teaching each other things. Too many things to explain. Life lessons, and language lessons and even “gams kawiely wams” and how it’s used in every day conversation.

I will miss them, when I leave at the end of the year. But I can at least keep in touch with them, and my other friends there, and not suffer through the drivel and idiocy of the OTHER sides of that place. I won’t go into detail. It’s not necessary and will just annoy me.

I’ve started learning other languages too – German, Arabic, Italian, Spanish and I’m brushing up on my French too.

I’ll need them if I want to work for the U.N! The letter I received from the head of the Translations department was eye-opening, but also very positive. That’s another life long dream of mine. It will take a lot of work, but it’s not impossible.

Nothing is impossible.

The old boys are doing a bit better now. Their feet are hardening and their energy levels have lifted to match. RIght now, Ex is having a little issue – but that’s my fault: I took him out a day after his feet were trimmed  (he was eager) and might have pushed him a little too far – I think he’s bruised his one sole.

So we are taking it gently now. He will come right, he has so far.

I love that horse.

Catch is doing very well – his feet are settling nicely. He is full of energy. A pity that Jamie can’t ride more though. That’s annoying. And difficult.

I become Elastagirl when I take them both out. They are both so stubborn and strong willed.

Oh and the Crow is finally finished!!

It looks BEAUTIFUL.

I attempted some shots on my own, and managed to at least show the whole tattoo.

Even with a timer, it’s bloody difficult to get a shot of a tattoo that size, in that location, on your own, with a ginormous DSLR like Bertha.

My wee and feisty friend, Gonzo.

Little black and white Jack Russell cross with something.

You gave Cath a good long run. With her through thick and thin. You were her first child. And her most beloved.

And you were my first “dog sitting” attempt.

Luckily, you liked me, because I took you for 2 walks a day and paid as much attention to you as your mum did.

So you treated me well, and when Cath got some new family members, you put them in their place and taught them how to love me too.

I cannot even begin to explain how sad I am.

This is a deep, aching void that you create.

Not just in me, but most especially for Cath.

And it had to be her decision. Which could not have been easy.

RIP my charismatic little friend.

You will also be sorely missed.

Gonzo Deare – Saturday 11th September 2010.

Gonzo the Magnificent.

I was a heavy heart to carry 
My beloved was weighed down 
My arms around his neck 
My fingers laced to crown. 

I was a heavy heart to carry 
My feet dragged across ground 
And he took me to the river 
Where he slowly let me drown 

My love has concrete feet 
My love's an iron ball 
Wrapped around your ankles 
Over the waterfall 

I'm so heavy, heavy 
Heavy in your arms 
I'm so heavy, heavy 
Heavy in your arms 

And is it worth the wait 
All this killing time? 
Are you strong enough to stand 
Protecting both your heart and mine? 

Who is the betrayer? 
Who's the killer in the crowd? 
The one who creeps in corridors 
And doesn't make a sound 

My love has concrete feet 
My love's an iron ball 
Wrapped around your ankles 
Over the waterfall 

My love has concrete feet 
My love's an iron ball 
Wrapped around your ankles 
Over the waterfall 

I'm so heavy, heavy 
Heavy in your arms 
I'm so heavy, heavy 
So heavy in your arms 

This will be my last confession 
I love you never felt like any blessing 
(Ohhhh) 
Whispering like it's a secret 
Only to condemn the one who hears it 
With a heavy heart 

Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms 
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms 
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms 
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms 

I was a heavy heart to carry 
my beloved was weighed down 
My arms around his neck 
My fingers laced to crown 

I was a heavy heart to carry 
But he never let me down 
When he had me in his arms 
My feet never touched the ground 

I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms. 

Heavy, i'm so heavy in your arms.

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