Posts Tagged ‘family’

Yesterday, was a surreal and sad day.
My uncle, who has been fighting so bravely for months now, passed away.
He went down very quickly, in the space of a few hours.
I arrived, and said hello, but he was by that point, already slipping in and out.
I am hoping he registered my presence. And the presence of all those that loved him, standing around his bed.
We held his hand. Cracked jokes. Talked about the good times. Sarcasm runs deep in our family. It’s our Force.
We use it well.
Every now and then, my cousin would say “everyone who loves you is here, dad” or “keep fighting, dad” and my heart would just break.
He was so strong.
My uncle went from a giant sized figure in my life, to this pale, fragile, thin, delicate and quiet person in the bed. His skin matched the sheets, and his beard and hair were grey and soft.
There was a lot of love in that room. It was an overwhelming energy at times.
But my cousin had it right: he was surrounded by those who truly love him. Right till the end.
He went quickly, and silently, around 6:20pm.

The pain I feel can be nothing compared to what my cousin feels right now. He has spent 24/7 of the last 6 months with his dad. Taking care of him in every way imaginable. He fought so hard for him. And it was only at the last that my uncle just couldn’t fight any more. He was so tired.

My heart goes out to my cousin and his family. And to the other brothers, who were not there.

And my mom. My steadfast mom.

There was so much love in that room.

1 month away from 47 years, for my aunt and uncle.
but he just couldn’t fight anymore.

I love you Uncle B.
Rest easy. Rest in peace. Sort those angels out up there.

Coffee and cupcakes.

love,
A

RIP Uncle B. Monday 24 January 2011 @ approx 18:20.
You slipped away.

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Ok so at some point in October, my amazing man decided that we needed to stop this long distance hogwash, and Be Together.

He asked me to marry him – it was a mutual decision after much discussion – not so much an “OH WOW!” proposal as an “I think it would be awesome, what do you think?” kind of thing. We both agreed – it would be sheer brilliance.

I said it would NOT be Official until he got there in December and got down on one knee and did the whole asking thing. I wanted that. It was actually my only condition in this whole thing. He agreed.

So unofficially we were engaged.

It was surreal.

And so I started planning things and getting quotes and looking for a dress.

This was going to be the most totally awesome laid back relaxed Saffy wedding we could possibly want/afford/organise in such a short time.

Luckily I had the help of my amazing friends, and my steady and full-of-ideas mother.  I wasn’t panicked – EVER. I wasn’t stressed – EVER. No seriously. The number of shop assistants and people who said “OMG! THIS Saturday?! Why are you so freakishly calm!?” led me to believe that I am some sort of wedding mutant. But I’m totally cool with that. Oh and the comments about my bizarrely skinny and long fingers added to that.

Only time I felt any anxiety of any sort, was the few steps I took down the stairs (I didn’t fall! Much to my future husbands pride) (to have my arm grabbed by my socially shy brother who went WAY out of his comfort zone, to give me away – his offer) and down the (very short) aisle (with the soothing sounds of Bob Marley’s 3 Little Birds as my wedding anthem) towards my future husband. He looked calm. But that was a facade, as his voice gave a warble a few times when we spoke our vows. It was adorable. And it made me feel so much better. He always makes me feel better. About so many things. But I digress….

This moment of panic was brief – my heart pounded its way up my throat for a few moments and then slowed to a normal speed after that. My hands had also stopped shaking by the time I had to put the ring on his finger. Luckily the ceremony was short (and very sweet) and before we knew it we were signing the register. Slightly dazed looking.

It was done. I was Mrs V. Then the party started!

I’m still pretty much wafting on a cloud – of happiness and sheer disbelief. I’m a married woman.

I have a husband.

I’ve introduced him now to a few people and paused… strangely.. “And this is my … <breath>  husband.”

It’s both weird and wonderful.

I love it.

I love him. He loves me.

Now we can move FORWARD together. Looking in the same direction – but never losing what makes us each special – our individuality.

Now also comes the extraordinarily fun bit – lots of paperwork and red tape and changing names and changing details. (That was sarcasm, in case you missed it)

And the waiting.

Lots of waiting.