Archive for July, 2009

since the boy left, we've been sending texts to each other every day… keeping in touch, as best we can..
he's still sitting in kuwait, in the dust and heat, waiting for his transport back to the sandpit…
he's trying to enjoy the relative "peace and quiet" of the base he's at before he has to go back to the bs and craziness of the FOB.

this time is incredibly bittersweet for me
i adore getting his messages… every time my phone beeps my heart jumps in excitement and i scramble to read the note from my man… because… he makes me laugh, makes me smile, makes me cry, makes me sigh…

it's so good to know that he feels EXACTLY the way i do
i miss him so much that my heart aches and i'm like a junkie going through withdrawal … he IS my drug…
i miss his skin
his smell
his lips
his arms around me
his cute feet
his warm hands
his dazzling smile (he can get away with anything if he flashes that smile at me)
his wonderful laugh (it makes me laugh when he does – every time!)
i miss making him breakfast
and lunch
and dinner
and holding his hand while we walk around the mall
driving in my car – his hand on my leg, giving me a squeeze every now and then…
seeing him looking at me, out the corner of my eye…
i miss the jokes and the play fights and the wrestling and tickling and laughing
i miss his laugh SO MUCH
i miss his voice… so delicious and sexy – reaches through my ear right down to my toes…
i miss hearing him say my name, calling me sweet things… telling me how much he loves me…

just normal, every day things
i will never take it for granted
we've had so little time together – but each time we ARE together, it's like we were never apart – we just click in place.
we fit.

so his messages make my heart SOAR.. but they also make me hurt… because i'm half a person without him… i feel empty and restless and lost…

but i know he feels the same – which makes it so much better, so much easier to get through the day.

i love him more than ANYTHING.
sometimes i can't believe that he loves me. that i am such a lucky woman.

mush over.
you can look again!

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romantic does not even cover it…

Thursday 25th June 2009.

My friend G says he's coming to visit me, while I'm house sitting – just popping in for a cup of tea, he says… says he's bringing a friend too…
None the wiser – I am half in my jammies (ready for another early wake up and off to work – at least the next day was Friday) and not expecting anything hinky.

I open the garage door and see my friend G… don't see anyone else in the car… so i'm greeting G and then i see someone else walk in, but it's dark and i can't really see this "friend" of G's…
so I look at him, and then look at G – waiting for him to introduce his friend…
i then look again at this "friend"… thinking "he looks familiar"…
and then he smiles…
and my knees give way and the world goes a little smushy and my heart stops and i can't breathe…
because there stands the man that i love.
my soldier.
my dark and sexy american boy.
when my legs decided to work again, i leapt on him and clung to him like a limpet.
he said that was the best moment ever.

he smelled so good.
felt so good.
sounded so good.

my friend said that he has never actually seen genuine shock in his life until that moment when he saw my eyes.
the boy and he said that my eyes went HUGE and my mouth was open and they could almost _hear_ my brain go "WTF!!!!!???????OMG!!!"

and yesterday i said goodbye to him.
drove him to the airport.
we sat in the terminal, enjoying our last moments of being happy together.
thinking of the fun things we'd done.
things we'd seen.

we had the most amazing time – it's so refreshing to see the place i live, through the eyes of someone else.
he relaxed utterly, didn't shave, let his hair grow. slept well. ate well.
we had awesome weather – Cape Town clearly approved, because she saved up the foul weather for the day he left – it's still raining (BUCKETING!)

we saw cheetahs, and eagles and penguins and beaches and mountains and forests and we walked everywhere and went into little shops and flew in a gyrocopter and drank wine made breakfasts and lunches and dinners and took hundreds of photos…

i'm hoping that this little R&R was what he needed to get him through the next 4 months till he gets "home' to germany.
i know it helped me.
except that now, all these memories are here on my turf…
driving in my car
going to the shops
the hardest part is sleeping…
sleeping without his warm arms around me
his legs all tangled up with mine…
or wrapping my arms around him and resting my head against his back…
the sound of his heartbeat
just having to "go back to normal" – that's what's the hard part now.
but we will persevere – and i think this makes us stronger – as cliche' as that sounds.

he told me some interesting things and we had some good talks…

this was the best surprise of my life and i am even more in love with my crazy, cunning, sweetheart than ever before.

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