Deep down, I knew it was coming…

Posted: September 9, 2008 in animals, emotion, loss, love, memories, photography
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

but that doesn't make it any easier…

Alchemy collapsed in his paddock yesterday. Mrs Ray called Jamie. Jamie called me (8 times – my phone was in the car though, cos i was out being thrown around and misbehaved with by a little horse called Rossi…) in tears.

Dr Augustein says "no more". Al's legs are too weak to hold his body weight – just in the last week, his near fore has shrunk in size, under the calcifications on his knee… it looks like a stick, compared to the other legs.
My poor Al. So. Bad weather today and yesterday meant they couldn't… dig the hole… so… they start digging tomorrow (wednesday) and the next day (it has to be deep, and big, for a horse's body) and then friday…  friday he goes.

my heart is breaking. but i knew that it was coming, after the scare a little while back. and this time i know it wasn't because of us – we really have been trying hard to get him out a lot, and we thought he was doing well.
it is so hard to see our magnificent Alchemy so … frail and.. weak… he's still so beautiful. from the neck up, you would never know he's 28.
i don't know what Stormy is going to do when Al goes.
And Ex. He's going to be … all alone when Catch goes out. I'm just going to have to do my best to get down there as often as possible and take him out.
but now, with me going away…
Jamie can ride him. If she can handle going down to the stables, that is.
Al is her boy, more than mine. and she had to have Rusty put to sleep today too. she's having a rough time.

and the boy is also having a rough time.
i didn't sleep at all last night. not even 5 minutes. i am so worried about him. my heart aches for him. to hear him so down. he is so miserable there. it's not what he was expecting, or wanting. and there's nothing i can do. which makes it SO DAMN HARD.
less than two weeks… then i can try and make it better. try my hardest.

i'm trying to get some work done – to get some money in, to cover bills while i'm away – but i am so tired, and so worried and so low… i just can't focus.

i'll keep trying, of course.

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Comments
  1. Mike says:

    Sorry. Odd, what it takes to make us human is animal.

  2. Well i love all my animals… losing any of them is always heart breaking.

  3. vivdora says:

    poor babe, poor Jaime & poor A thinking of you xx

  4. Marc is Roy says:

    Hoping for some good luck coming your way Kitten!! Really sorry to hear about Al.

  5. It was his time… still hurts, but yeah, he had a good run (especially for a thoroughbred with a career like his)

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