I should be stupidly happy… i should be excited and nervous and bouncing off the walls…

instead. i spend my day wishing for something.
don't know what. just. something!

could be some sort of "yay, you're coming here" from the boy

could be "you've won the lotto"
of course i'd have to enter that first…

could be someone telling me "it's going to be ok"

BUT DAMNIT! I SHOULD BE HAPPY!! i should be driving everyone around me crazy with my stupid grin!
but i'm not!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

i'm getting so _tired_ of being miss miserable!

i get to fly to europe to be with the man i love!
and he gets to be with me.

come ON girl. pull yourself together.

i guess it is mostly the reaction.. or lack thereof… of the boy…

stay frosty, girl.
just.
stay frosty.

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Comments
  1. vivdora says:

    Maybe it's a sense of anti-climax after all the planning and scheming and worrying and stress. When you have a ticket in your hand it'll suddenly seem real at last. Reckon you're both feeling strange at the moment but it'll be fine.Maybe you could find something to make you laugh, some silly film or something? Oh God I sound like a stupid old bag…if the cap fits…

  2. vivdora says:

    Also would it be a good idea to get a physical check up before you go? You could be anaemic or summat? Have you got a date to go yet? anyway! Well I'm getting excited for you anyway

  3. my friend G says that it's because it's now becoming very "real" … and before it was a dream, and more in the future.. which was easy to deal with (for him, and me)now it's real, and it's SOON… but yeah.. i'm hoping when i have the ticket and the visa and i'm on the way there… maybe i'll feel something.maybe he will too.

  4. i just had a checkup. i am stupidly healthy, as usual.waiting on some test results… but hoping for the best.

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