so here i am
i was happy
doing what i loved
living my little dream

but thanks to … various things not under my control…
my dreams are being flushed down the toilet.

going to have to whore myself out as an IT bunny again.
just to be able to pay my bills. of course it doesn't help me this month. only 2 clients have paid me.
out of 11 orders i've done.
can't pay any bills. NONE.
my cellphone bill barely scraped through.

i'm not going into anything new, with this debt hanging over my head.
i won't do that to the boy.
i will NOT be that girl. i refuse.

so, i'm sorry my Preciouss… you have to go. Bertha stays (obviously)… but my sweet Preciousss … if someone would just buy her of course.
yes. i get sentimental, even about inanimate objects.

selling my car (At some point) is going to hurt. real bad.
Broomhilda has been with me through thick and thin. really really thin.
she's run on fumes and bald tyres with no brakes and 3 cylinders.
and she still gives me her all.
no windscreen wipers (and yes, it's winter… don't even ask how i got home today… )

I know something good is coming (besides my beautiful TJ i mean… he is the best thing that has ever happened to me) and i know i just need to be patient…
but i'm not going to sit idle in that time….
idle hands …etc etc…
and an idle mind is even worse.

so if i have to don my Bunny Girl ears and shake my little fluffy tail a bit, to make ends meet… then so i shall.

it's time to take care of _me_.

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Comments
  1. vivdora says:

    It's such a shame – your photographs are so good! I hope you will be able to carry on, maybe you could get a part -time job?

  2. thanks. but unfortunately pretty pictures are not paying the bills right now.i'm sure i can get something part time… but it's not going to help me this month.i really have no money. like. nothing. it's… scary.i've had bad months before, but nothing like this.this really is breaking my heart.but i want this sorted now.i'm tired of being in debt.and i have nobody to ask for help, and nobody to blame but myself i guess.i go to the bank tomorrow to see what i can do.hopefully i can actually speak to a real human being, face to face.

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