on being scared.

Posted: June 12, 2008 in emotion, people
Tags: , , ,

not something that happens to me often…
but last night.
last night i was _scared_.

point driven home about where i live… and how terribly fragile the bubble is that i am floating in at the moment…

i desperately needed to hear his voice, telling me it would be alright, that he would get me out of there…
just his presence on the phone. something.

but i got nothing.
still haven't heard anything…

going on 2:30am there…
so he's probably stumbled in and gone to bed, little rascal!

*sigh*

when did i get so pathetic?
when did my whole being suddenly become "we" and not "me" ?
"us" and not "i" ?

it's so stupid.
i have nothing of him, except the sound of his voice, the sight of him, and the (now fading) smell of him on a tshirt…
how can i cling to this so desperately?

ridiculous!

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Comments
  1. vivdora says:

    Cos you love him

  2. i do.with every fibre of my being. every molecule.i ache.but it's a strange/silly situation to be in.we must stop making plans, because the army just breaks them… i must stop with the "when i'm in germany" etc etcand he must stop the "when we live together"i can't take it anymore.

  3. vivdora says:

    Don't be sad,hang on in there

  4. i'm trying, very hard! i'm positive 99% of the time… but that 1% just gets me right in the eye… 🙂

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