the conversation started out a little stilted, a little tense…
Archive for March, 2008
Tags: deep deep inside, my guy, not scared anymore, tj baby
Tags: limbo, misery, soldiers, tj
so now what?
Tags: i just adore him!, poor babe, soldier, tj baby, what a let down!!
Tags: all the way through, broken, late night phonecall, poor babe, so glad i stayed up, soldier boy, tj
there i was thinking about him… and my phone rings
and it's HIM!!
22h30 at night, but that's ok!!!!!
HE CALLED ME!
Said he had only one minute, but wanted to tell me he DIDN'T make it 😦 AND he broke his foot!!!!
made it all the way through the two weeks… and breaks his damn foot on the last day!!!
wouldn't they see that as a minor detail??
he made it ALL the way through!!!
my poor babe.
i feel so bad for him.
he sounded so miserable.
so he'll be "at the hotel" for a couple of days apparently…
maybe i'll get to speak to him at least…
i feel so icky now. poor thing.
Tags: cameras, missing, sf, the soldier boy, tj honey, waiting
it's my Monday night. 20h00. minus 6 is 14h00. so almost the end of his Monday.
In theory, Tuesday is the last day of the selection process….
he said 2 weeks.
But you never know with the military.
I'm hoping no news is good news. Means he's still there, still in the thick of it. i know they "weed out" the non-prospects as they go along… so…
i really really REALLY hope he gets in.
it would be amazing for him.
Got my new camera on Thursday (Thanks to G) but didn't even put it together until Saturday.
It should have been exciting – but all i can think about is TJ.
I'm not as bad as i was at first…
but i still ache.
my heart is so sore.
but as TK said – the worse the bad things, the better the good things to come.
i just have to have faith, and hold on.
i just wonder if he's thought of me at all?
i mean, not while he's focused, not while he's trying to get noticed. i want him to focus.
but.. in any idle time… or when he sleeps… do i cross his mind at all?
i know it's not summer camp, it's the frikkin Special Forces – i don't expect me to be in thought bubbles that follow him around…
i just wonder…
i'm hoping a thought of me is something that keeps him going, keeps him motivated, keeps him trying harder.
i'm actually petrified of how i feel about him.
how deep this goes.
just keep breathing, girl.
just keep breathing.
Tags: angel, heartache, missing you, soldier boy, tj baby
if you wait
good things happen…
after that horrible goodbye – i was devastated.
i thought that was it.
2 weeks of misery.
but he called.
freezing cold and early morning.
but he called.
to tell me he was sorry. and that he loves me.
and that was all i needed to hear.
i mean yes, i miss him so much i can hardly breathe. feel like i've been kicked in the chest sometimes.
but I'm still smiling, quietly.
and i love him.
only been since Sunday and I'm going ballistic without him.
my mornings are dull and dreary. I just don't feel like getting out of bed.
my evenings. they are the worst.
i just. go to bed. feel like this huge chunk of SOMETHING is missing. and he's that something.
i don't sleep.
i hardly eat.
if this is part of being in love, it pretty much sucks.
I'm just holding thumbs that it all goes well for him – that he's focused, and strong.
Tags: b&w, but this is pretty good, ditto angel, happy is catchy, it could get better than this, me, smiling, thank you tj baby