Today was the big day i was so excited about – the braai at D & A's house – i was desperate to see my Marine again…
I waited, so patiently, from the moment i arrived, for them all to appear in the doorway…
but no such luck.
was still a lovely lovely afternoon – good food, nice people – but i can't help but be disappointed. I was _so_ eager to see him.
That's another thing.
It's strange that when you are NOT wanting it, you suddenly get all this attention from the strangest places.
i have 3 (yes, three) wonderful, sweet, lovely guys who seem to be interested in me… all of a sudden… but i can honestly not think of anyone but my Marine.
He is constantly on my mind. I dream about him, i think about him the moment i wake up, the whole day, no matter what i do.
When i drive over the mountain, i have to go passed the consulate, and it reinforces everything, every time.
it's bordering on obsession, and i don't know why!
so today, i almost felt this pain in my chest as i left, because i have no idea when i will next see him.
i don't even know if he will remember me! i can only hope he will.
because i can't forget him. his eyes. his presence. his voice.
i don't know what to do.